ScrUBERed!

Uber sucks. Not just sucks, but sucks hard…like a black hole sucks.

I’ll try and keep this short but there is a lot wrong with Uber.

For the past month I have been working as an Uber driver in my spare time and I have quickly learned what a terrible company they are for riders and even more for Drivers. For one, the entire company is built on lies. Uber Sucks!

My friend got me interested in driving. She told me what fun it was and I was lured in by Ubers promise of $100 for completing just one ride. Wow, that sounded Awesome. I promptly began the process of signing up to be a driver. It was pretty simple and straightforward. They needed a copy of my license, my Insurance and my registration. Then I had to consent to a background check. After that I had to have a “rigorous 17 point blah blah blah” vehicle inspection by one of the top notch Uber mechanics. The inspection consisted of a man walking out to my car, sitting in the front seat and checking off all the inspection points on his sheet without actually doing anything. I shit you not. Uber Sucks!

Lastly comes the all important and required interview. The interview consisted of me sitting in front of an Uber support person while he took a picture of my “passed” inspection form and uploading it to my profile. Again, I Shit You Not! Uber Sucks!

Now all I had to do was wait for the email that tells me I have passed the background check. That email NEVER came. Eventually I just logged on to the Uber partner site and discovered I had actually been approved and could start driving. Way to drop the ball Uber. Uber Sucks!

A day later, I decide to drive. I went out to my car and logged onto the Uber Driver app. My vehicle wasn’t even listed. Instead what’s listed is a vehicle called “Uber Test”, which all my supporting documents are attached to. There is NOWHERE to change the name of the vehicle. There is NOWHERE to contact Uber about this issue. Fuck it, I clicked Start Drivng. It asked me to accept a service agreement. I did. That took me back to the “Start Driving” screen. I clicked Start Driving and once again I was asked to accept the service agreement. This went on for about 10 minutes. Finally I asked the wife to try. She went through the same cycle about 5 times until FINALLY it logged me in. I shit you not. Uber Sucks!

Finally after that test of patience, I started driving. As I was fooling around with the app, I discovered that now I need to complete 20 rides before I can be eligible for the $100 bonus. Bait AND Switch! Fine whatever. Uber Sucks!

The first night is pretty uneventful and fun. I drove around town and gave 4 rides in about 3 hours. I made less than $25. That’s less than minimum wage. Considerable less when you factor in the price of gas. Hmm…Uber Kinda Sucks?

Night Two started out with Uber giving me the  wrong pick up location. They weren’t even close. They were about 2 miles off. Ride two was the same. It gave me the wrong pick up point again but this time I was smart and called to confirm the riders location. The rest of the night was uneventful. Uber still kinda sucks!

Night three and my second ride of the night gave me crappy directions and I got lost. I’m pretty sure she gave me a bad rating because right after that my 5 star rating dropped to a 4. Uber Sucks!

The next day I went to an Uber 101 event to learn more about driving. There they tell drivers that in order to collect the $100 bonus, you have to have a 4.75 star rating or higher. Hmm, they definitely never mentioned that before. Uber Sucks!

The problem with the rating is that new drivers will inevitably make mistakes and get bad ratings. They actually tell you this at the Uber 101 event. Uber knows this and knows they will not have to pay most people the bonus because of this issue. Here is how the scam works. Nobody actually rates you unless they feel you did a bad job. So that one bad rating weighs more than all the other non-rated rides, therefore making it next to impossible to have a 4.75 star rating or higher. Uber Really Sucks!

The next few nights of driving are pretty uneventful. I’m pretty soured on the whole experience but carry on. You don’t make much money. At the most, it’s $15 an hour and thats being very generous. That’s nowhere near what I make as a graphic designer. Uber Sucks!
One night I shared my Uber code to give a first time rider their first ride free (upto $20.00) This also ended up being a FLAT OUT LIE! The passenger was pissed. They were charged for the ride and then sent an email thanking them for their first ride and that their next ride would be free as long as they refer a new person to Uber and that new referral actual takes a ride. BAIT AAAAANNNDDD SWITCH! Uber Really Really Sucks!

Now it’s Comicon time and Uber is expected to be very busy. Going back to the Uber 101 event, we are informed that if a rider cancels the request or fails to show up, you still get paid the base fee. Ok, that’s nice except it’s yet another lie. Driving during Comicon, I had several canceled requests. I spent time and fuel going to the location only to have it canceled by the rider. I was not paid. That’s lost time and money. Uber Sucks!

July 9th and I’m close to that 20 ride mark. 19 to be exact. One more and I might get that $100 dollars! Only when I check the app, it has magically changed from 20 to 25 rides. WHAT THE FUCK??? I’m losing my shit. Seriously losing my shit! Uber Fucking Sucks!

 

So here we are, July 10th and I decide to give driving another shot. The first ride, which should have been about $20 bucks, registers as ZERO time driving and $0.00 for the fair? What the Fuck? A glitch? Ok, I’ll deal with it later. The second ride doesn’t even register as a ride. It’s just nothing. Nothing at all, as if I didn’t even drive. Holy shit! The rest of the nights rides don’t work correctly either. Instead of showing me the fare, it just tells me to check back later. Mother Fuckers! Uber Fucking Goddamn Sucks!

I could have dealt with one or two issues BUT several issues and lies every step of the way? No! Uber is dishonest and misleading! I’ve been lied to throughout the experience with them. I have learned that they not only fuck over the drivers with lies and misinformation, but they do the same thing with the riders. It’s just all Lies! Uber Sucks!

Trying to get any details on your rides is impossible. Uber keeps it extremely vague and simple so you don’t really know what’s going on. You can’t see what people rated your ride, you can only see what your overall rating is. And that rating varies depending on where you are in the app or website. There is no consistency anywhere throughout their app, site or communications. And if you are doing this as a full-time job/business, there is absolutely NO reporting what so ever. So there is no way to look at details and gauge how you are doing, where you are excelling and where you are failing. And Uber isn’t planing on changing that, ever, I asked. Uber Sucks!

So in short, Save yourself! Don’t use Uber. Don’t Drive for them and don’t ride with them. Choose Lyft or Sidecar. I have heard they are better. My application should be finalized for lyft next week and I will then see first hand if they are actually better. I imagine they are. Nothing can be as much of a cluster fuck as Uber. Uber Sucks!

 

ha

Mandy Becker

Back in 2012, a bill collector called and for some reason I recorded the call. I don’t know what possessed me to do so but I’m glad I did.

Eating Cake ISN’T That Difficult.

The mathmatical way to cut cake according to some dumbass

That’s an absolutely retarded way to cut cake. Let’s ignore the fact that this guy has no friends who want to eat birthday cake with him in the first place. If he did, he wouldn’t have to solve some complex math problem just to eat it.

So problem number one, who the fuck is eating cake ALONE EVERY NIGHT for days on end?

Problem number two, how many people get cake with fondant? That’s right, if you have a frosted cake, your just going to make a mess every time you want some cake.

Problem number three, if you weren’t sick of cake already, you will be since every night after the first slice, you will have to eat TWO slices or the cake won’t go together correctly. Sure, the amount of cake is less than the first night but by a minimal amount.

That brings us to problem number four. Who the fuck is eating a cake that small? Most cakes are much much bigger than that. Just think about the large square sheet cakes? Those things are HUGE! So, you are loser without friends and soon you will be a fat loser with the beetus and then before you even have time to finish the cake, you’ll die of a heart attack or at the very least, have a foot amputated from said beetus.

But at least your cake will be fresh.

Pick Our Wedding Song

Which song will we celebrate tying the knot with?

You decide!

As many of you know, Dawn and I (Sean) will be getting married July 21, aboard the Carnival Imagination while in port in Catalina, California. All the details have been set…except for one. Our triumphant wedding song after we seal the deal with a kiss. So we thought, who better to ask than the internets?

So help us choose a song by voting below. The winner will get a free 4 day and 3 night cruise to having the satisfaction of winning. Actual times may vary.

Public Service Announcements

eCards are lame.
ePosters are better.
ePSA Posters?
Well that’s shits just awesome!
Check them out. Share them with the world. I dare you!

The Bible? Fuck that Shit!

I’ve been watching The Bible on The History channel lately. If you haven’t been watching, let me sum it up for you. Basically god creates man and then man starts killing anything and everything that has a differing opinion than him. Man murders and steals some others guys land and then in return is annihilated in the name of some other god. This happens over and over again until voila, here we are today. Moral of the story is, life lessons should not be taken from some ancient book of hearsay stories passed along, retranslated and finally written down hundreds of years later. The bible is to morals as donuts are to health food. Anyhow, enjoy my little video I made and follow me on YouTube and stuff.

Your 2nd Amendment Right

Most of, if not damn near close to all (excluding law makers and government officials, if they even understand it) don’t know what the 2nd amendment means. ”

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Look into that sentence a little closer and you will see what it truly means. It doesn’t give every American the right to buy and carry military style assault rifles. It gives a well regulated militia, which is a disciplined or trained group, the right to carry weapons that were not specifically designed for military use and were not employed in a military capacity. So whether you go by it’s original interpretation or a more modern interpretation, rest assured, you are most likely wrong in your understanding of your 2nd amendment right. It’s true. It’s most definitely true in the case of NRA gun nuts and Fox News sheep who think its their right to own military assault rifles to protect themselves against the possible tyrannical uprising of our government. Never was it meant to be interpreted as defending ourselves from within but from those outside.

If I’m wrong, by all means, correct me.

FUCK THIS SHIT

Some of the funniest “Fuck This Shit” pictures I could find.

This first one is my favorite. I think I’ll get it as a tattoo…on my forehead.

The War on Sugar, Salt and everything Tasty

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s a war going on. A war on sugar, salt and all things tasty.

Today Disney announced that they would no longer allow junk food advertisements on their children’s channels to help fight childhood obesity. This unprecedented move