Aries Spears: Hollywood I’m Smilling

The other night Comedy Central re-aired the Aries Spears comedy routine “Hollywood I’m Smilling” and I have to say its one of the funniest routines I’ve seen in a long time. If you get the chance to catch the whole thing, I recommend it. For now though you can watch this video of the funniest part. The quality isn’t that good but the comedy is hilarious. Now, get to the choppa and get down!

Obnoxious Bulldog Lady

Listen up lady talking to the neighbor outside my window about your bulldog, I don’t think she wants to hear that many details about your goddamn dog. So please please shut the fuck up! It’s been 10 minutes so far. Your dog’s life story can’t be that long. You see how the lady has her hand firmly clenched on the door knob? Yeah that means she wants you to shut up too. She wants to get away but she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Unlike you, who rapes the ears of every one who even casually glances at her precious bulldog with stories that would torture even the most hardened person. So please, once more, PLEASE SHUT UP.