Lets stop the outrage you fucking pussies. Was that a bit too much? Well fuck you. Stop being such pussies! Now watch this video and keep your bitch hole shut you smelly pile of chimp shit. I went too far again huh?
Category Archives: Video
Having some technical issues with WordPress. Please forgive the duplicate posts.
I made a 4 minute long version of this video with the clips in their entirety but the stupid YouTube Nazis yanked it do to Copyright infringement. Hopefully this one will make it past the Gestapo.
If it does get taken down, try here
Sunday I was browsing through the Freshly Pressed Section of WordPress when I stumbled onto some really cool illustration sites. One in particular was doing a drawing of the day series. So I thought, hey, that's a great idea to get back into drawing and get my creative juices flowing. So here I am, with my day one drawing. To be honest, my hand started cramping so it's a bit unfinished.
I’ve been in the advertising field as a graphic designer and creative director for over 15 years, so my new favorite show is of course “The Pitch” on AMC. Is it a blatant rip-off of my reality television idea? It sure is but I’ll let it slide. Moving forward…I decided to remix the new Burger King commercial featuring everyone’s favorite perverted creepy irrelevant old man, Steven Tyler of that horrible 80′s hair band Aerosmith. Don’t argue with me on this point, Aerosmith sucks! So without further ado (adue? adoo? ahdoo? Fuck, I don’t know!)
This is my cat Toonces. She’s looking for a good time. She likes sunsets, cuddling, tuna and eating her own ass. Her dislikes include other cats, dirty litter boxes and anybody else trying to eat her ass. Eating her ass is her job and she’ll be damned if anybody else eats it but her.
Before you ask, the answers yes, I’m bored.
Forget Tuesdays with Maury, I want Tuesday’s with Cafferty.
Jack Cafferty’s got to be my favorite guy on CNN. He’s old, looks as cranky as a badger and tells it like it is. He’s the new Andy Rooney if you ask me. One look at the guy and you would think, “there is no way this guy has any sense of humor”. Quite the contrary though. Just watch him mess with Wolf Blitzer. Why he doesn’t have more than just a segment on CNN, I’ll never know.
Today has been a trying day for me. I’ve been in a pretty bad mood. Well more like a bad funk. Probably because I stopped taking my crazy pills a while back and now its all catching up with me. So to try and distract myself, I decided to go spend some time alone in the bedroom like a overly dramatic 14 year old girl on her period, when suddenly I heard,
“sometimes it even hurts when it comes out so fast”.
And because I also have the sense of humor of a 12 year old child, I immediately started laughing. Not one of those half-assed chuckles either. It was totally uncontrolled laughter. I might have even LOL’d. Then I suddenly realized, it’s funny how such a little thing can unburn your toast. Well not completely unburn it but at least that toast is now edible. If I was a praying man, I’d say Thank God for bathroom humor. But there is no god so thank you to who ever made the very first poop joke. You’re my hero!
Honest to god, the View gave me nightmares after seeing just 5 minutes of the show. I have now recommitted myself to never waking up before noon. It’s just too risky.
This seems like a brilliant idea. Almost as brilliant as my remake of Planet of the Apes using chimps, ponies and midgets. Anyhow…watch…it’s funny.