The Drinking Games of the 2012 Summer Olympics

The 2012 London Summer Olympics are less than 3 months away so it’s time to start thinking about what sport will fuel the next Drinking Game. During 2010 we celebrated the Vancouver Winter Olympics with the Canadians by turning Curling into a drinking game that became a runaway success on Twitter. Thanks to those big ol stones and plenty of beer, we fell in love with curling and more importantly the ladies of curling.

Reality My Ass!

The discovery channel has a new show they’ve rolled out (pun intended) called “The Devils Ride.” They’ve marketed it as a “reality” show about an “outlaw” bikers club based in San Diego. First off, I’m from San Diego and San Diego is about as outlaw as Beverly Hills. Second, just a few minutes into the program and the term “reality” seems more like sarcasm than it does a description for this show. It’s obviously scripted. Thirdly, if they are such outlaws, why are they doing a reality show?

I’d like a shot of reality with my TV please.

For about five years now, my old lady and I have tried to develop a reality television show. Problem is, we don’t know anybody. Now, some of you might say “that’s just an excuse lazy people use to explain away why they can’t do things,” to which I say, “Suck It.”

Tuesday’s with Cafferty

Forget Tuesdays with Maury, I want Tuesday’s with Cafferty.

Jack Cafferty’s got to be my favorite guy on CNN. He’s old, looks as cranky as a badger and tells it like it is. He’s the new Andy Rooney if you ask me. One look at the guy and you would think, “there is no way this guy has any sense of humor”. Quite the contrary though. Just watch him mess with Wolf Blitzer. Why he doesn’t have more than just a segment on CNN, I’ll never know.

It’s the little things

Today has been a trying day for me. I’ve been in a pretty bad mood. Well more like a bad funk. Probably because I stopped taking my crazy pills a while back and now its all catching up with me. So to try and distract myself, I decided to go spend some time alone in the bedroom like a overly dramatic 14 year old girl on her period, when suddenly I heard,

“sometimes it even hurts when it comes out so fast”.

And because I also have the sense of humor of a 12 year old child, I immediately started laughing. Not one of those half-assed chuckles either. It was totally uncontrolled laughter. I might have even LOL’d. Then I suddenly realized, it’s funny how such a little thing can unburn your toast. Well not completely unburn it but at least that toast is now edible. If I was a praying man, I’d say Thank God for bathroom humor. But there is no god so thank you to who ever made the very first poop joke. You’re my hero!

The View gave me nightmares

Honest to god, the View gave me nightmares after seeing just 5 minutes of the show. I have now recommitted myself to never waking up before noon. It’s just too risky.