It Works if you work it so work it!
Posted by Turd Ferguson
I’ve spent my whole life being an asshole, not by choice really, but by design. In other words, I was born this way. Not Lady Gaga born this way with a penis…well wait yeah, I DO have a penis but I’m not…uhh…a lady boy thing…er uh..whatever she is. I’m, how do I say this?
I’M A GODDAMN MAN DAMNIT!
Anyhow…I was born this way. It’s a talent not a curse (unlike that lady gagas curse). Due to this “talent”, I have been less than successful in social circles and situations. Take the now common practice of online social networking. “They” say you have to work it to make it work but when you’re naturally born an asshole, working it doesn’t work. Plus, if I work it any harder, I might go blind. Now before I stray off into a rant, let me get to my point. Uhh what was my point? Oh yeah, WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY LIKE ME? Just kidding, that’s not my point. I guess I don’t really have a one. Maybe its just this; there are plenty of assholes in the world and they have very healthy social circles. Usually the difference is that they have fame or fortune, or in some cases both. But how did they get them? “They” say nice guys finish last so maybe that’s a clue as to their current situation. But then that contradicts my current life long situation. Odd. Maybe there are different levels or perhaps degrees of assholedom? Maybe instead of the Type A asshole, I’m a type D asshole? Regardless, I’m not going to change. Forget you (great, now I’m quoting CeeLo) if you don’t like who I am. I’m not going to change myself every time someone is unhappy with something I do or say. If that was the case, I wouldn’t be me…I’d be you, or “them”. I don’t want to be them.
Like me or hate me but I’m not going to stop being an asshole I’m staying right here along with all my opinions, truths and attitudes so if you don’t like it, maybe you should consider changing?
Hey I just remembered my point. How do I get people to read my blog? My own girlfriend won’t even read it and she’s awesome, beautiful and amazing (just in case she is reading this) how do I get anybody else to? Even my fake Facebook friends just pass by anything with my name attached to it. But Facebook sucks so I’m not gonna count any of those people. They’re not real anyhow right?
Anyhow…is anybody reading this? Perhaps I’m just kidding my self? Let’s take a poll.
On a side note, don’t do a google image search for asshole. Just trust me.